Archive | July, 2013

Apologies

30 Jul

So if I said
Sorry sorry sorry
Would everything be
alright alright alright?
Apologies aren’t meant to be
Like broken records
Sitting on the gramophone
Dances interrupted
Moments paused
In that minute
Something precious
Could have happened
But by belief
Apparently many a times
Of the word Sorry
Would cure everything
Like medicine I drink upon
Those words
Prescribed by society
Drinking a little more medicine
Wouldn’t make it wine
Nor tea
Nor juice
Only a little
Less bitter
What if I sugar coated
My sorry
And feed you the sweet tart
Of apologies
Would everything then be okay?
Or would the poison
Between us both
Still exist

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Repetition

29 Jul

I think I do a lot of stupid things in life. I screw things up like within the snap of a finger. Like a magician,everything just disappears. No trace left.And all that’s probably left are just the words inked in my mind. I mean, it’s probably my fault for being rash and emotional. If this is the point when this part of me ends everything, then it isn’t worth it. Not a single bit. I could say “Hey I’m sorry.” But I’m not like that.I tried. I tried for M. But what happened then? Not a single flower bloomed out of it. So I told her how I felt. No response. Silence. I killed it. So now I’m allowing history to repeat itself. Rewinding every morsel of pain inflicted. I really shouldn’t fucking care. This is so stupid. I need to let go and let God again. I don’t want to be worrying of the future we hold or when I get so insecure about everything that embodies us. The final end? Hope not.

Hipster

28 Jul

As I eat my ciabatta
And drink Charlie’s thirst quencher
(A fairly hipster lunch)
I ponder over my thoughts
Why I’m feeling this way
What’s happening
Where every part of me craves for you
Whom I often push away
When I get a little sad inside
How this isn’t how things are suppose
To turn out
And I play Undo by the 1975
Secretly hoping I hadn’t formed
Any sort of thing with you
Undoing all the knots that
Had created an emotional wreck
Of me
Tell me it’s normal
To feel protective
When all you did
Was plunged right into this life
And let fate bring us here

Universe

25 Jul

Oh take me away
The universe enveloping us both
Stars dusting our hair gently
Like glitter flecks on the cupcakes
I used to bake
Swinging on the white moon
Kissing on our backs
Tracking the tears with craters
Oh take me away
Where I would swim
In the galaxy and toss my legs
Up in the air
Where I cannot breathe
Not without your oxygen
We exist as one
Dreaming like Armstrong
Gravity like reality
Pulling us back down
I wish I could
Take me away
Place myself
In a whole other world

Guy best friend 101

23 Jul

I’ve always wanted a guy best friend be it gay or not but I’ve always thought of the endless situations when there is just that comfortable level of friendship. For example, as weird as it may sound,I want a friendship where I can just walk around half naked and know that nothing is going to be aroused or you get what I mean. Just so comfortable that we can both lie on the same bed and fall asleep and know that aint nothing going to happen that night. Okay,so maybe a few kisses shared would be okay,but that’s it. The imaginary line is drawn there. Isn’t it wonderful to not deal with girls so much and have a guy bff you can turn to? I think it is! It’s just a beautiful friendship that embodies everything and anything. The sad times when you can lie on his chest and cry and he’ll kiss your forehead and say “hey no worries.” Actually I think all that I’ve just said will only happen when I’m 20 and over probably not now. Not that I dont want to, I haven’t developed anything with anyone till that comfortable level.

Till then,
x

Don’t go?

22 Jul

Because I think I love you
And this day I’ve feared
For so long
No I don’t love you
Not that way
I just want you to stay
And not leave
So I can cry on your shoulders
For the first time
And kiss you
With drunkard lips
For the first time
Hug you for so long
I would never quite let go
I hope you aren’t fickle minded
Because then everything
Would just dissipate
Like the ashes
Burning in the furnace
This shouldn’t be how
I’m supposed to be feeling

Feeling the real blues

22 Jul

Monday is definitely bluesy. Currently having the flu with my lovely twin Zilin C and this morning we had the longest twinning moment texting each other! Also, my period just came (not that anyone needed to know) but I’ll be on an emotional roller coaster this week so every friend of mine please beware!! I mean,hey,I don’t want to lose anyone right? So there are certain things on my mind bothering me currently but I can’t say it here b/c of obvious reasons like (this is the Internet) but just to be vague like a fog, I want to create lasting friendships and not let it be broken down by some flirt???????????????? Okay that’s all. Till then,send me much love,
x

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