Helga and Arnold

15 Jun

We both stood on the opposite tracks, holding each something that meant something to us. A train goes past us and all I could see was the vagueness of you and the past of us both in the shadows of the dust. If only I could reach out and pull you close to my side once again. Inhale your scent and fall asleep right next to you. Make our worlds spin and spin and spin till we get dizzy and had enough of the alcoholic words. You used to give the tiniest crack of a smile whenever I told you I wished I met you sooner because we both knew the two words “If only” so fondly. I’ve written down all our dances together right outside my gate because I didn’t want to leave you not even for one single night so you pressed the button of a player and taught me the steps to becoming a better person. Cradled the exchanges every night to bed,laying them out again for me to remember them and not forget. How could I forget?

I look up and I see you at the opposite track,gripping onto something so tightly. The next train passed not forward, only backward. Heartbeats became faster and the tracks squealed to a stop. The first valentine heart I drew for thee was with a pink Crayola and a cut out heart shaped paper. And with all ugliness I wrote the prettiest words to you. I sealed it with a kiss,licked the sticky parts of it and mailed it to the part of me that needed comfort. Grade 2 we sat next to
each other on the swing my fingers creating a flower crown- my love for you was like Helga to Arnold deep,secretive and everlasting. I picked up those parts I left on the ground,the ones I had hoped you picked up,and settled them into my pocket because they were of no use anymore. It needed to be locked up,kept safely away.

I wrote all this down in a letter,everyday,dated and erased almost every minute. Because all I wanted to keep were the beautiful lines and scribbles and here I hold this in my hand over 15 years worth of words it means so much more than you think.


2 Responses to “Helga and Arnold”

  1. dcardiff June 15, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

    This is absolutely beautiful.

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